So since that post about the child with the ulcer I can’t stop thinking about how I want to do something about it. Ever since I was little, I wanted to go on a mission trip to Africa. Now that I’m older I don’t want to go on a mission trip so much, but a trip there nonetheless. I just see so much that I don’t need, and it makes me sick and sad and bleh.
I know I’m not a doctor. I’m no builder nor contractor or specialist of some sort. I’m just a kid with a big big heart, and I want to do something for those kids. I would go, even if all the jobs were taken, if there was nothing for me to do at all. I would go just to help them clean or cook or play with the kids, talk with them and teach them to read. And if we couldn’t communicate we’d still run and smile— smiles are universal. Hell, I would go to hand out clothes and teach them to tie their shoes. I would go to just spend time with kids who look so sad, and teach them how to smile.
God this feeling, I don’t want to ever lose it. I want to forever be aware of how fortunate I am, and rather than comparing myself to those who have more, make a more accurate and humble comparison instead. I don’t want to be part of this rising corporate dog-eat-dog world, I don’t want to gain the status and money and lose my soul in the process. I want to remember that when it comes down to it, we are not so much different, you and I and everyone else.
Maybe this is why I want to help others so much. The African children are one example, but problems don’t lie exclusively with them. It’s so easy to say I want to help them somehow, because no matter how genuine it is, maybe the fact that it’s continents away keeps this problem separate from my life. In the meantime, between now and when I get the opportunity to go to Africa, I want to also be able to see things that go on right nearby. I want to help human beings more than anything. I want to make people happy because I find it makes myself happy as well, and if that’s not a good consequence I don’t know what is.
Strangely enough, feeling my heart hurt from this empathy is in no way bad. It’s making me happier than I’ve been in months to think about making other people smile. I want to give people new eyes, new perspectives, new reasons to see the same mundane things in beautiful ways. This is getting sappy as fuck and it’s okay because there’s some sort of weight that’s disappearing from my soul right now and hot damn it feels good.